The first time I heard about rimming , my older and much funner mate was telling me how her boyfriend went from eating her out to eating her ass and she was so surprised, she farted into his open mouth. This kind of story sounds like the biggest joke ever when you are a pre-rimmee i. Take it as the number one rule of rimming: expect the unexpected. Unless, of course, you come prepared to the bussy brunch. How to douche is a whole different article.

Gary Johnston : We're dicks! We're reckless, arrogant, stupid dicks. And the Film Actors Guild are pussies. And Kim Jong-il is an asshole. Pussies don't like dicks, because pussies get fucked by dicks.

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The Drunk in Bar explains to a depressed and drunk Gary about dicks, assholes and pussies. When Gary tells him he hurt people and that he's a dick, the Drunk in Bar reassures him by claiming that being a dick isn't so bad. He explains how dicks can fuck pussies and assholes, but assholes can't be fucked by pussies. He goes onto say that if there weren't any dicks in the world then everything would get covered in shit.